Crossing the Great Divide

SRS and insurance

This post theme will intermittently appear on this space over the next year or so.

I've begun gathering information, with an eye towards putting together the position of insurers, health providers,  the status in other countries, and where coverage within the US may have been gained. I'll look at information on cost and anticipated cost to the insurance marketplace, and the effect on premiums. We will delve into the AMA, Harry Benjamin standards, and who knows what else.

When it is all said and done, this information will be presented to my union in hopes of including the coverage in our next contract. I will also put forth pertinent information on this blog, so that others might make use of the information.

At this point, if anyone reading this is aware of information that might be helpful, please post a link, email me, whatever. This is a long term project, and I'd really like to get it right.

I do know San Francisco's cost in the first year of coverage fell below their projections, and by a substantial amount. This is a good thing.

It's time for this nation to stop looking at srs as cosmetic surgery, and as lifesaving surgery.

Your help will be more than appreciated!

The solace in pondering

I'm pondering the issue of association, where like minded people gather in cyber space to offer encouragement, support, etc for each other.

I'm pondering said site, located on a prominent women's website, one that offers numerous message boards for various interests.

I'm pondering a board, sanctioned, where there is discussion of a group of people, with this discussion advocating, encouraging, & embracing a view of an entire community as less than, sinful, and worthy of legal restriction.

Yesterday I was pointed at just such a board on iVillage, in relation to Rev. Ted Haggard and his resignation for illicit affairs. One post referred to this being the work of 'the enemy.' Well, doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that meant "we have seen the enemy, and it is you."

So I decided to post, and think my postings were respectful, but as with anything that will be a different viewpoint, it will not meet with wide acceptance, and of course... I knew this. And predictibly, the reaction was to basically buzz off and let us be bigots in peace.

Which leads me to my pondering, pondering how it is a prominent website for women encourages the continuation and perpetuation of this thinking. Would the KKK be given their own board to discuss and support each other? "Gee, last night... last night I was out just looking for minorities to hassle, when, would you believe it? a big group of *them* surrounded my car and told me to get out of here, they wanted no trouble. I'm really upset..."

Establishing little havens for the free flow of bigoted outlook does not sound like productive use of space. Yeah, I know, Christians believe gays are sinners and that we, not they are wrong... it's a legitimate social issue. Hmmmm, and so wasn't segregation, a half century ago. Didn't make it right.

A moderator has intervened on the board, warning of stronger action, when no violations have taken place. I've written this moderator, and of course expect precisely nothing to happen. I've provided four links that refute their assertion this is a support board, because the content of those four is decidedly bigoted and hateful. The most recent of which was a post to lead another to this: Homosexual Agenda.

I've said my piece there, or perhaps my peace, they undoubtedly are praying for my redemption, and nothing probably changed.

Or maybe one mind has begun to ponder, along with me.

Wonder of wonders - may we be saved by South Dakota?

It has my attention, and I am intrigued.

A few days ago, a story was posted on how South Dakota voters are slightly leaning towards casting aside the legislatively enacted ban on abortion (see Feminist Majority Newswire 31 October, 2006.

And now comes Tight Battle Over SD Anti-Gay Amendment. 

Imagine... if they strike down the restrictive choice law, coupled with a rejection of the anti-gay amendment, in one election this geographically large, small population state could send a huge message. Oh, I don't for a moment think the message is we are pro-choice, pro-gay, rather it is we don't need silly laws restricting the rights of people.

South Dakota has been viewed as a test case, a jump off point to rid America of that dastardly thing called choice. It has no particular importance in the grand anti-gay scheme, excepting an unanticipated role of rally killer if it's people choose to eschew law banning gays.

And what a welcome relief that would be. We watched as an overwhelmingly male legislature pulled the rug out from under women, and now... those of us who were despairing the passage of the anti-choice law, now take hope in what this state will bring forth on Tuesday. I wonder how those in the SD legislature will feel and react to such a vote?

Meanwhile, whilst most states will vote to impose their marriage bans, a victory is still a victory is still a sign of viewpoints in flux. We start with one, we convince one more, we work mind by mind, showing our fellow citizens there is nothing about us to fear.

On Tuesday, send your good thoughts towards South Dakota. Heck mine are going to be everywhere, hoping for political change... this is one more change I never expected to be comtemplating. 

Skittishness

There are some things I have trouble with.

These things usually come up expectedly, catching me unawares. Initially I'll start to run away, then my neurons, probably the result of aging, finally get their signals sent, and brain processes the new information. Result: "why?"

The first thing I remember doing this to me, was Goddess Lydia's goddess programme in iVillage. Talk of goddesses and such left me decidedly skittish, until it dawned on me one day to question and look at why. It was a new form of self examination for me, and probably came about from being locked into a time of selfishness and a total focus inward. Else, I'd have been distracted and it would have gone unnoticed and uncontemplated. This inward focus was not at all all glory, it led to many other huge issues...

but inward I looked and went. It happened with increasing frequency. Doris Day singing Que Sera, Sera (when I was just a little girl...) chased me from my computer and office. Denise could tell lots of stories of her suggesting something to me, receiving a diatribe in return, only for me to say yer right days later.

One good thing has come with this... I've gotten into the habit of taking a look at things that leave me skittish, and in many cases, taking them on.

Recently, Jodi Picoult's The Pact had me initially skittish. I faced this down, jumped in, and it was like stepping on a rake, spiked side up *thwannnnnng* between the eyes, first page; I persevered.

Now comes a request to consider returning to cl duty on iVillage after a 3 year hiatus. Brain: no way. Went to work with it being no way. Came home to no way. Within an hour, I was looking into cl'ing.

Why? Exactly. Why. Why am I skittish about doing so? Well, 3 years ago coincides with the culmination of all that went wrong, was wrong, with my life, it was all catching up to me... life change was about to force life change, this time for the better, and out I came, stronger.

So when I asked that requisite "why?" tonight, it pointed straight at my fear of those memories, my desire to keep them away... but the more I think on it, keeping them at bay is sort of admitting defeat. They are there, those memories exist, and better to reconcile them, better to face the fear they generate, than to run from them.

And I speak to the spiritual realm that guides me, the representative goddess, to... well, guide me. or at least give me the confidence needed to self guide. I'm going to give this a go. Going to stare down one more nightmare. Little victories by all appearance, and I'll take them.

So y'all can chuckle, roll your eyes, snicker, tell me why I'm nuts - you won't be wrong. Way I figure things, it's easy enough backed out of if it proves untenable for them or me. A debate board. Mebbe they won't want me, har!  If they do, more to follow.

Bitch

What a suggestive title!

I could mean speak up about some issue or another, or it could be me lambasting some unknown woman of mystery, or even simply an exclamation.

In this case, none of the above.

After a two year hiatus, I've resubscribed to Bitch Magazine. It's been missed. I've brought my older copies into work, and people actually do set and read it, this after their eyes go large upon seeing the title.

There is so much of interest in the magazine, and it deserves to stay afloat. Yessee, within the first issue I received, the publishers talk on needing 500 new subscribers to stay afloat. I hope my subscription contributed to lowering that number by one. And I'm putting this on the blog in hopes one or two folks out there will shell out the well worth it $15. for 4 quarterly issues.

The magazine deserves to exist, and hope someone out here will find it as worthy as I do.

Paedophilia and the wildly speculative

I'm listening to NPR's Here and Now on the noon hour, listening to a spokesperson for Log Cabin Republicans denounce Mark Foley.

Hey, all well and good, but um... didja notice that every other comment out there is associating being gay with paedophilia? Not a bloody word out of him in refutation.

Some spokesperson.

So it falls to us shout in the wilderness bloggers to speak up and out. Repeat after me... this is not about being gay. This is not about being gay. This is not about being gay.

I've argued the point for days on message boards, and one poster, in the most cogent moment of their life, posted in this manner to me:

GERRY STUDDS!!!

GERRY STUDDS!!!

This after I spent several days defending Republicans from the equally ridiculous assertions that Republicans are somehow associated with paedophilia.

Can we get past this shit already? Must we associate everything with paedophilia? You like coke, not Pepsi, must be a paedophile. You prefer Fox News to MSNBC? Paedophile. Speak French? Paedophile.

We tend to measure everyone else by the actions of the few or the one. Yet we try to pulverise the rights of the few or the one. Funny how we attach so much importance to small numbers, then think them irrelevant.

Well, psssssssst... paedophilia is not gay associative. Plenty of hetero paedophiles out and about folks... along with a whole herd of hetero rapists and abusers. So what? There are gay folk who do these things, there is no correlation to whom one is naturally attracted to.

Yet now we have to endure the fallout of this. And for that, a big huge, well swung foot square on Mr. Foley's backside. For the idiots who then make the association with gays.. may you face a rotten veggie food fight.

Diversity vs dogma

I'm taking a break at work, and flipping through a May edition of The Advocate. There are a couple of interesting stories on Muslim lesbian women, women who have courageously stood and said "count my opinion, and you may not like what I have to say..."

And I think on the various messages in these articles and in their words. There is Irshad Manji (of Canada as near as I can tell) who talks on "Muslims not asking hard questions about what happens when faith becomes dogma."

This statement provoked my own mind to delve into this, applying it well beyond Islam. Surely Islam is not the only belief system that should stand such scrutiny. Look around us, at what those in this country would like to do with their belief systems vis a vis the rest of us.

People are all too willing to blindly follow someone else's outline of a belief system, get themselves all in  a lather if the precise syllabus is deviated from, and soon begin viewing those who are not believers as sinners and as evil.

My grandmother once told my sister and mom you could tell a Protestant by their eyes, they were soulless. (She had issues with those not Franco-American as well, hello mom, even though she was adopted and English-American by birth. Go figure.) Damn beer is empty, go figure again.

Where was I? We need to reshape our belief systems in such a way as they are less judgemental and harsh, and more enabling of critical thought and examination, more willing to embrace and respect, more willing to slide over on the seat and make room for someone who looks a little different.

We distrust each other. It's easy. What do those Muslims 8,000 miles care about anyway? And we then outline their outlook, as if everyone there thinks in the way we perceive, or that we have captured the essence of their belief.

And we do it right here, with each other. How can you believe that? Don't you know you will go to hell for how you live? Don't you know those Christians are all pigheaded dogmatics too? And we aren't? There are times I catch myself thinking something, and a big 'whoa!' forms over my head. Time to think a bit further, nelle dear.

In another article, author Christopher Lisotta delves into the 'clash' of lgbt folk and Islam in Europe, and wonders if we are next. He argues America is better suited to handle the assimilation of Muslims, and to have the discussion/tempering advocated by Irshad. We are? America? Did I miss something?

Perhaps we all are, eh? Perhaps we all have it in us, but simply refuse to admit we can be dogmatic and accepting, open and closed minded, contemplative and rejecting, fearful and fearless. If we see these things within us, we can challenge them.

Needles Tuesday

It's Tuesday. And I'm tired.

There is nothing unusual about this Tuesday, nothing that separates it from it's sisters to the rear and to the front, it's just my busy day of the week, though that will change next week.

So given my weary state of mind, why not share my day? The day for me starts around 5:50 am, as my radio comes on with this brmmmm power up. I listen to the news cast, then around 6:10, it's one foot over the other, each out onto the floor, wipe my eyes enough in a rather feeble attempt to focus, blindly grab in the darkness for my robe and some undies, head for the staircase, then try like hell to make sure I take the normal route downward, and not the express.

It's on into the bath, a shower routine I've narrowed to about 7 minutes altogether, shampoo once, body wash twice, rinse with completely cold water, water off, dry, brush teeth, add soft & dri baby powder gel deodorant, undies, robe. Then it's up the stairs, contemplating what I will wear along the way, yet knowing I'll still stand and stare into the closet mindlessly.

Sure enough, this is exactly what I've done, pausing to switch on the light in the adjacent room to peruse the various skirts lying on the spare bed. Will one of those work on this day? Nah, not today... we'll go with those scrubesque olive green pants, the ones that tie around the ankle, bought a week or two ago at Banana Republic. Simple. White Russell Athletic long sleeved top. Find a white bra, socks that go reasonably well with the pants, put it all on, slip into my sketchers, and... oh, damn,brush that hair.

Now it's my 25 minutes of playtime. I set down to this infernal contraption, check my email, wander to various iV boards, then end with the usual cap to this home portion of my daily preperatory ritual, visiting a friend's private message board. I post my scattered thoughts, always written with no coherency, sort of like a gossip column structure, random thoughts routing from brain to keypad.

A look at the clock, time to go. And the commute begins, somewhere around 7 am. The drive northward takes about 45-50 minutes, taking less time going north than in coming south, as once off the interstate the lights are generally with me. I start into work immediately, start time really is only a formality. I might break around 10:15, definitely go for a walk at noon, and quickly down some yogurt thereafter.

Today, the second half of my lunch hour was spent putting the finishing touches on an excel worksheet that will sum and average various totals by week, month, and year. Heh, it works. Then it's back to my real work.

I break at 3:15, delve into the final pages of Fannie Flagg's latest, then leave at 4:00 for the hour and a half journey to the electrology institute. I stop for a sub, wolfing that down as I drive into Massachusetts. I ate too quickly, and it occurs to me that small sub was both too big, and not at all appetising any longer, as such turkey subs once were. We change. Or rather, I've changed.

I arrive around 5:35, the student impatiently awaiting my arrival. The same student who called me raye ann all last week. She asks me if she called me raye all last week. I say yes, but when you have needles in your face, it's kind of hard to say something.

After a quick restroom stop, it's onto the table, and needles begin to move in and out of my neck/throat area, insertions timed for somewhere around 12 seconds. Within minutes I'm being called raye ann again. Another student points this out. She apologises. I feel little, and doze off until right at the sleep barrier, where I skid to a stop. No snoring, pull my mind back from that edge.

She works nonstop until 8:10, cools me with witch hazel, then puts this antibacterial cream upon the worked areas. I pay the $30 charge, set my appointments, changing to Monday next week, and head home. I arrive at 9:00 pm, check the mail, and settle down. I'll play for a couple of hours, and set at 11.

Kisses on a plane

I'll be damned if I'd see Snakes On A Plane, and I'd probably be equally reluctant to see a Kisses On A Plane movie... but apparently one of our illustrious airlines has decided both snake and kisses deserve triggering emergency crew procedures.

According to an article in the New Yorker, by way of Advocate, American Airlines rebukes gay couple. Hey, I'd be right there with the "get a room' advocacy, if it in fact was activity um... deserving of being taken behind closed doors. Maybe the pilot should have offered them the use of the cabin. "Just watch that lever right here..."

In this case, no one saw them with hands inside of clothing. It's reported a few kisses were exchanged along the way. Ever flown with your partner? Geesh, I used to be scared silly, and my hand would be crushing hers. There would be an occasional kiss, a tight squeeze, closed eyes... and no one told me/us to knock it off or they'd divert the plane.

If I were on a plane with such draconian stewardship, it would be kewl to encourage co-passengers to pair off and on my mark... go for the pda's! Now if the pilot were male, and two reasonably hot women were smooching, the event would be videotaped and shared with the boys back at the Wings club.

Alas, this was two poor gay guys, always the last on the social acceptance heirarchy. We've had suspicious looking people of perceived middle eastern descent thrown off planes by paranoid pilots, now we have a flight crew spooked by a couple of passengers sharing a little love.

Will people just settle and chill?

Historical reminders

For the second time this week, someone (consider this both singular and plural) has been accused of not being sufficiently anti-gay. The latest to face the accusation is yet another on the conservative side: Fox News.

My thanks to willa for posting this story: Headline we never expected to write: Conservative criticizes Fox News' gay-friendliness

Why Mr. LaBarbera... mind if we switch to visual?

*WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING*

Actual photos ahead... some are graphic.

The above, with the exception of the two Jewish children forced to wear the Star of David, are all of ugliness in the American past. The last three are of a Bigfoot at Wounded Knee, a lynching, and another image from Wounded Knee, 1892. Those are real bodies on the ground, folks... slaughtered.
This is where prejudice goes, unless people start realising what it is they say and advocate, who they put down, how they put them down. I'd... like to stop it here, mkay?